Have you ever think about your dreams? What kind of dreams you have? Why you dream about it? How much you are ready to do that they will became true? What others think about it?
I really started think about this things yesterday. What is my dreams then, you maybe ask?
Some people allready knows my biggest dreams, but sometimes I feel that some of those people don't believe or don't understand when I try to tell how much my dreams really mean to me. My biggest dream is to become a musician, songwriter and have a band. Help people with music, like music have helped me. I have had very dark moments in my life and I have been so ready to give up, but this little thing have allways told me to keep on going. I have tried to made this my little dream to come true and now I singing in band what we call Xtribute (we haven't figure out the perfect name yet, so the band which covering XJapan will be called Xtribute as long as we need a good name heh) and I'm truly happy that I can be part of it~ It have helped me to clear my head and mind and erase all bad thoughts. You can just sing all out~
When I was younger I sang all the time and just knew that I want to do music for living. Still I wasn't sure what kind of music and I searched my place, own thing and style. I used to be big fan of heavy and metal music. (heheh) I listening pretty much only heavy and metal and wear allmost just black. Oh no!?! heheh I can remember those times. Well then suddenly happen maybe the biggest tranform in my life.
-I watched TV and channel surfing like normaly because I was really bored and well I didn't felt very good then. Then I hit the right place in the right time. There was this (no longer existing) channel called extraLarge or something and there just came story about Japan and japanese music, culture and stuff and this very special music video began right after I chanse the channel;
Ayabie - Kimi no koe to Yakusoku
I remember how I just stare Aoi my mouth wide open and couldn't believe my eyes. That music, languange, style, everything was so perfect. And that was THE moment when I really found myself. Even it sound cliché. But after that video I have imagined in my wild mind how I one day can be like those guys. And I still do that~ I just don't know how to desicripe that feeling when you can sing to group of people. 1 or 100 doesen't matter. Even I'm little shy and I go totally lock when I get any positive feedpack example about my singing (even I know deep down that I can sing and I thanking everyday that I have my voice) and I stress about going in front of people, that feeling on the stage is so free and unique what you can't feel anywhere else. I just love it~
Well but after this special event, there was again one very dark and difficult season in my life and I just forgot this all. I can't believe that I really forgot my dreams. But it happened. In that time I tried to keep that dream alive, but well, it didn't worked very well.
Now days I can thanking one particular, amazing group of guys that my dream have awaked again.
Last spring I read that little japanese band from Osaka is coming to Finland and I went to youtube and found music from them. I have to say that I haven't ever seen this kind of band which have became so imortant to me in so little number of time. This band is Marie~ Even I have so many idols, so many fav bands which I highly respect and love; like hide, XJapan, Miyavi and An cafe for example, but this band still just jumpped in to top 3 immediately. (top 3 = three most fav bands which are not in order, because those all are so important) I bought tickets and go to see them with my friend and right after when guys started to play, my feet and heart just melted. I can't put that emotion in words, because I haven't felt that way earlier. But I can say that I started to remember and realize what I want from my life again. This as well can sound so, so huge cliché, but that is the way how thing is. Thanks guys for two wonderful gigs~♥ I did also a promise in that same gig in Arabia's youth center (or what they call it where the gig was) to myself. I will reach my dreams one day. And now I can say that I have strengths and power to do that. And most important thing; I'm ready.
There is two songs which I want to show you and which are highly important to me. First one is BURN OUT - Everytime I hear this I remember that feeling in those gigs and if I started to drown into my deep mind again I start to listening this. So much adrenaline in one song~♥ And in my case its just a good thing.
Second is part of Arabia's gig. I really wanted to share it with you because it is one of the best gig's I ever have been.
Marie - BURN OUT
Marie at Arabia
And quicly little about my second pretty new passion is this parapara which I have talking about little here. And what you can see me doing all the time and everywhere when I hear music. Even with hurted my knee I can't just be still...I have dance a little ehhe. After I found parapara and started to dance, I have been allmost dangerously hooked. Like I have been hooked to music and singing in whole my life. If you ask me I could dance all the time and never stop. hehe I really recomend it to all who want to become addicted to dancing~
~I don't know that I would do if I can't dance anymore or I would loose my voice and hearing~ But I hopefully find group of people who love parapara as much as I do and I can have parapara group as well. Dancing with others is more funnier~
hmmm.. Now you know then, little piece of me.Well, it's not that Little piece but still.
But lets continue little more. Thank you that you have listened me to this far allready.
Now I little jump to different subject but; Have you ever had feeling that you can't give up? I have that kind of feeling right now. Big diffenerce to that what I have felt. One reason is that I found my dreams again in my difficult mind and I finally had courage to say it at loud. And I really don't know where I would be if I wouldn't have my dear friends around me and I can promise that I won't ever leave them. You all are too dear to me~ Love you all~♥ And now I have one more reason to feel like this. Because one little dream, which I actually haven't share with anyone, will become true soon. To become to godmother; soon I will be godmother to one the most cutest little boy~ hehe and actually I don't fully understand that yet. Well maybe I will soon~♥
~But I have learn that you have to dreaming and have dreams. Without them there isn't life. Everyone has dreams, even some people don't share them or thy try to ignore and deny them. But everyone still has even one little dream, I'm sure of that~
huh I think I stop now. Thak you and sorry about this long - thing I wrote. hehe I promise that I try to keep this texts shorter from now on.
~~This is for all my idols and people which I highly respect and which have inspire me in my life~Thank you all~~
Seeeyaa and remember to dream~ :)
Good night - njaaa~~
Song of the day~ BURN OUT by Marie and ~love&crash by Lc5~